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Contents: Amsterdate, Amsterdamn! Dating in the Netherlands is not a piece of Stroopwafel!


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Social Media Links. Does she look overly intelligent?

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A rewrite? Amsterdam culture granted me permission to roast in a way America never could. But it may very well have contributed to a country-wide belief in the values of cheap living, hard work, and yep, verbalizing opinions. First day of the rest of my life, I guess.

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In the name of justiceof course. Who would have thought that saying how you actually feel about something would lead to a someone else knowing how you feel about that thing!

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You have no experience and we would pay you maybe half of that. Being honest and direct, even straight-up rude to people felt incredibly freeing. No wonder we put up a wall of rainbows in the States. To the Dutch, the truth is productive. But to the Dutch, putting in too much effort, or trying keep up appearances to look busy and hardworking, just comes off as stupid.

What are they? Of course, New York City is hardly representative of the whole country, so I asked some Dutch people that have traveled around the US what they really thought of us.

Dutch people are dicks. here’s why americans should try it.

And now for a radically honest conclusion To prepare for this article, I called Cas, the most honest Dutchman I know. I imagine some Dutch people might get upset, or my ex-partners feel exploited, or my father taken aback that I have more sex than he thought I did. Instead they say a lot of bullshit. They might hope you get the flu, or catch a sexually transmitted disease, or… suffer a tragic death. Literal interpretations of my flirtatious and light-hearted banter prevailed throughout my six months on the lowlands dating scene. The only thing that bothered me [about the roommates] was that they never complained to my face.

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Honest feedback changes your perspective on yourself and the situations around you. It took a few days in Amsterdam before this filterless phenomenon struck me, via the Tinder scene. And if the boss of a Dutch company suggested that people should stay later, it's unlikely that complaints would trickle silently to HR. Geske says that, compared to North America, there is almost no hierarchy in workplace culture. History buffs believe it probably has something to do with the spread of Calvinism to the Netherlands in the 16th century.

On the flip side, the Dutch find Americans confusing and passive aggressive I went to a bar in Brooklyn the other week and approached two handsome men at the counter. Colleen Geske, Canadian expat and founder of the well-known blog Stuff Dutch People Likegave a lecture to us exchange students about her adjustment to Dutch culture.

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This made me reflect a ton on connection in general okay, yes, I was smoking a lot of weed. Or at the very least, a joke too good to pass up.

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Some helpful media people told Ruby Anderson she should use and promote her social, so: rubycarmela. And it made me realize upon coming home just how much we Americans fuck ourselves over -- in our relationships, in the workplace -- by pretending to be so damn nice all the time.

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They said they loved New York; everyone was friendly and the city was exciting and -- oh god, no, they would never actually live here. I gave her a call for this piece and, despite her 15 years in the Netherlands, she was still very Canadian-polite. I paid for drinks last time, and the time before, you forgot your card. After she cut and dyed her hair, she asked a staring co-worker -- an acquaintance at best -- if she liked the new look.

For the Dutch, this is the default setting.

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Too friendly maybe. I really don't!

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We had a good laugh and I went on my merry way. A few months ago, a relative asked me if I was soooo happy to be back in the States.

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These exchanges made me squirm -- until I tried being a dick right back. In contrast, the Dutch sometimes wish illnesses on people that saunter into their bike lane. When Americans get cut off in traffic, they have a dictionary-load of school-bus cusses to spew at the guilty party. Slowly but surely I phased out my say-a-positive-thing-before-a-negative-thing conditioning. Now comes my favorite anecdote of all. They turned out to be Dutch shocker and visiting their girlfriends because when do these situations ever work out?

Even though many of them went to school, taught, or lived around Americans, they confessed to not understanding us. Make Fun. Thrillist Serves. He nodded humorlessly.

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This might explain the radical honesty movementmade popular in the States by Dr. He believes the root of most suffering is living disingenuously. Perceiving an opportunity to segue into playful meta-analysis, I leaned in. Negativity is a plague here. I told her no, I was content but not over the moon.

The dutch aren’t necessarily trying to be rude -- they’re trying to be helpful

Geske said it took her years to get used to Dutch directness. She laughed. Even idiots can have children.

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When I asked him for an example of when his honesty might have startled somebody, he shared that his openness about drug experimentation and porn addiction were often met with some awkward pauses. In New York, they insisted, your job was your identity, human connections feel less intimate, and those goddamn sirens never cease.